Emotionally Unavailable Person. EUP
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Posted:Jun 2, 2015 1:18 pm
Last Updated:Dec 5, 2022 6:48 pm
8524 Views
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First of all, what is an available person?
Relephant read: Love is Selfish.
Whether this is your spouse or a new love, he or she wants to know your feelings, your sensitivities, what scares you, what you adore, who your family and friends are. The person is single and open to commitment. There is no pattern of hiding, compartmentalizing, ongoing ambivalence, or sneaking around. This person’s motives are straightforward.
You don’t have to go into a mind spin or try to decode with friends “what they really mean.” He or she doesn’t keep you hooked in with mixed messages or intermittent reinforcement of passion or caring—an addictive pattern that drives both sexes crazy in a bad way. He or she makes a plan with you and shows up, no cat and mouse games or habitual canceling.
In all other cases, think twice about getting involved.
A confusing part of being attracted to unavailable, commitment-phobic people is that the emotional or sexual chemistry can feel so strong. You accept behavior that you’d never tolerate in friends. Why? The electricity can feel so incredible and rare, you mistake intensity for intimacy.You make compromises you wouldn’t typically consider in order to give the relationship a chance.
Still, connection or not, you must take a sober look to determine if someone is truly available for intimacy. Hear this: Not everyone you feel a connection with, no matter how mind-blowing, is your soul mate. You can fall for someone who is totally wrong for you, as unfair and confounding as that reality can be.
To start, here are some red flags to watch for. Even one sign warns you to be careful. The more that are present, the more danger exists.
12 Signs of Unavailable People from “The Ecstasy of Surrender.”
1. They are married or in a relationship with someone else.
2. They can’t commit to you or have feared commitment in past relationships.
3. They have one foot on the gas pedal, one foot on the brake.
4. They are emotionally distant, shut down, or can’t deal with conflict.
5. They’re mainly interested in sex, not relating emotionally or spiritually.
6. They are practicing alcoholics, sex addicts, or substance abusers.
7. They prefer long distance relationships, emails, texting, or don’t introduce you to their friends and family.
8. They are elusive, sneaky, frequently working or tired, and may disappear for periods.
9. They are seductive with you but make empty promises—their behavior and words don’t match.
10. They send mixed messages, flirt with others, or don’t give a straight answer—you’re always trying to “de-code” what they really mean.
11. They’re narcissistic, only consider themselves, not your needs.
12. They throw you emotional crumbs or enticing hints of their potential to be loving, then withdraw.
Over the years, I’ve worked with many perplexed, lonely patients to uncover why they keep holding a torch for unavailable, commitment-phobic partners and how to surrender this sabotaging pattern. Most of us aren’t purposely drawn to these kinds of people—their mixed messages combined with our particular susceptibilities, conscious or unconscious, can lure us in.
Also, it helps to understand that unavailable people rarely choose to be this way. It’s an unconscious defense against trauma or some emotional wounding of the past. Research has shown that many are afraid of being clung to or smothered which stems from having had a controlling, engulfing, or abusive parent.
Commitment-phobic men, in particular, may just prefer sex without love. They are afraid of being controlled by feminine energy, though they don’t know it or couldn’t admit it. Rather, they see themselves as macho dudes who think women always need more than they can give. Thus, they prefer to play in shallow water, not go deep.
If being in a relationship with an unavailable person feels like love to you, I urge you to look closer. To bypass these relationships, see where you get snagged so you don’t repeat the same mistakes.
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just my type
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Posted:May 28, 2015 1:53 pm
Last Updated:Dec 5, 2022 6:47 pm
7987 Views
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Take a look around the room,
Love comes wearing disguises.
How to go about and choose.
Break it down by shapes and sizes.
I'm a man who's got very specific taste.
You're, You're, You're just my type.
You got a pulse and you are breathing.
You're, You're, You're just my type.
I think it's time that we get leaving.
You're, You're, You're just my type.
When there's loving in the air,
Don't fight it just keep breathing.
I can't help myself but stare.
Double check for double meanings.
I'm a man who's got very specific taste.
You're, You're, You're just my type.
You got a pulse and you are breathing.
You're, You're, You're just my type.
I think it's time that we get leaving.
You're, You're, You're just my type.
You're, You're, You're just my type.
You got a pulse and you are breathing.
You're, You're, You're just my type.
I think it's time that we get leaving.
You're, You're, You're just my typejust mt type
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What his teeth Says about his Penis
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Posted:Apr 27, 2015 7:40 pm
Last Updated:May 10, 2024 11:23 am
8883 Views
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The things I read about. Smh
If your guy is skimping on good-brushing habits, it might leave him with a rotten mouth—and a deflated penis. Poor dental hygiene may hamper his ability to get hard, finds new preliminary research from Taiwan.
In the study, men with erectile dysfunction (ED) were 79 percent more likely to have been diagnosed with chronic periodontal disease (CPD) than guys without ED. CPD is an infection that occurs when the gums pull away from the teeth, creating deep pockets that harbor bacteria and allow the bugs to spread to the bone surrounding the teeth. (It’s not just bad brushing—his other habits might be sinking his stiffy, too. Find out the eight ways a dude can protect his erection.)
Chronic inflammation caused by gum disease may damage a guy's endothelial cells, which form the lining on all of the blood vessels—including those in his penis. The endothelial damage can result in impaired blood flow, leaving him limp in the sack, says Larry Lipshultz, M.D., a urology advisor for Men’s Health. (Because the blood vessels to the penis are about 25 percent the size of the ones to the coronaries, ED can often serve as an early warning sign for heart problems and vascular disease. So if your guy is experiencing ED, be sure to have him consult his doctor to make sure his member isn’t the only malfunction.)
The researchers suggest tooth extraction may help reduce the ED by eliminating the inflammation. But thankfully, that’s a last resort here in the U.S.
Instead, if the disease is caught in the early stages, treatment can be as simple as a few deep cleanings from a dentist. If it’s discovered later on, gum surgery to reduce the pockets and restore some of the bone loss may be necessary, says Sally J. Cram, consumer advisor for the American Dental Association (ADA).
Once a man has the disease under control, she suggests scheduling more frequent cleanings—every three months rather than six months. (Regular appointments are also important because dentists can spot these six serious health problems.)
People who have had periodontal disease in the past are more likely to get it again, so it’s important that he take precautionary measures and monitor for symptoms.
“Most people who have the disease don’t feel pain until it is in the advanced stages so be sure to see your dentist if you experience red swollen gums, bleeding gums when brushing, bad breath, loose teeth, and receding gums,” says Cram.
The good thing, though, is that periodontal disease is almost entirely preventable. Just make sure your guy is brushing for two minutes twice daily with a fluoride toothpaste—look for an ADA Seal of Acceptance for best results—have him floss once per day, and make sure he drags himself to the dentist for regular cleanings and checkups, says Cram.
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Randome
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Posted:Apr 27, 2015 6:46 am
Last Updated:Dec 5, 2022 6:49 pm
8699 Views
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Daydreams
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CHANCE
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Posted:Apr 14, 2015 8:27 pm
Last Updated:May 1, 2015 6:12 am
8932 Views
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More Serendipity please
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Bucket List places to go
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Posted:Mar 23, 2015 7:35 pm
Last Updated:Dec 5, 2022 6:53 pm
9900 Views
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ÃÂÃÂÃÂâÃÂÃÂÃÂÃÂÃÂÃÂÃÂÃÂÃÂÃÂÃÂïÃÂÃÂÃÂøÃÂÃÂÃÂÃÂChicago , ILâÂÂï¸Â
Sydney Australia
New York City , NY
ÃÂÃÂÃÂâÃÂÃÂÃÂÃÂÃÂÃÂÃÂÃÂÃÂÃÂÃÂïÃÂÃÂÃÂøÃÂÃÂÃÂÃÂDenver ,COâÂÂï¸ÂâÂÂï¸Â
Scottsdale, AZ
Nashville, TNâÂÂï¸Â
ÃÂÃÂÃÂâÃÂÃÂÃÂÃÂÃÂÃÂÃÂÃÂÃÂÃÂÃÂïÃÂÃÂÃÂøÃÂÃÂÃÂÃÂLasVegas~I love Vegas!âÂÂï¸Â
Miami \ Key West FL. Nah
Tampa FLâÂÂï¸Â
The BahamasâÂÂï¸Â
Portland OR
Seattle, WA
Cruise Alaska
ÃÂÃÂÃÂâÃÂÃÂÃÂÃÂÃÂÃÂÃÂÃÂÃÂÃÂÃÂïÃÂÃÂÃÂøÃÂÃÂÃÂÃÂWashington DCâÂÂï¸ÂâÂÂï¸Â
Cabo. SanLucas
BRAZIL
ÃÂÃÂÃÂâÃÂÃÂÃÂÃÂÃÂÃÂÃÂÃÂÃÂÃÂÃÂïÃÂÃÂÃÂøÃÂÃÂÃÂÃÂDallas/FtWorthTX
Houston,TX
Boston
Whole NewEngland area
Maldives
Mediterranean
Cuba
Puerto Rico
Greece
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2
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Time like Air~not advise just reminder
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Posted:Mar 23, 2015 7:20 pm
Last Updated:Apr 21, 2015 4:17 pm
9528 Views
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Loving a**holes gets old.
Dating a man who leaves you on the side of a dirt road, or dancing on a bar with a bottle of red wine with visions of soft bellowing kisses as he blasts off into the night in a tour bus—gets old.
Dating a man who can’t take care of himself—gets old.
Dating a man who can’t find the balls of his accountability—gets old.
Dating a man who uses his blue, and green eyes with gold on every woman he meets—gets old.
Dating a man who says, “Darling, let’s just enjoy this moment! This moment is life!” gets old.
There is freedom in love.
Dating a man whose heart is not open gets old.
Date a man who knows your time is as important as air.
Date a man who shows up on time, who opens the door even though he knows you are strong and able.
Date a man who doesn’t need to run away, because he is ready to love.
Date a man who lays kisses on the ground beneath your feet, as he is blinded by your worthiness.
Date a man who not only bends and licks your soul but isn’t afraid to love the hell out of you.
All else is a waste of heart space.
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Blame it on the bikinis, party girls, and martinis and the sunshine
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Posted:Mar 23, 2015 4:52 pm
Last Updated:May 31, 2015 6:38 am
9704 Views
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"Single For The Summer"
The new years getting older, the February roses are withered away
The sun keeps getting closer, sinking a little slower everyday
Ooo its getting louder at the lights, music clashing in the street, moon shining on the parking lot daws
Tanned legs in the nights, sliding out of the sea, stilettos at the crosswalk
I graduated but every year in May I get that ‘schools out’ feeling
I feel it creeping in every day and on weekends and I'm drowning in the freedom
[Chorus:]
Blame it on the bikinis, party girls, and martinis and the sunshine
Private school daughters that never go under water keeping their hair just right
I know in September, I'm gonna remember how much I loved her
I'm single for the suh-uh-uh single for the summer
I've gone off the deep end, company I'm keeping is messing me up
The good girls at home sleeping, while I'm out creeping til the sun comes up
Ooo I’ve got my phone faced down, and my hair combed back, riding round getting good at the game
Saying the wrong things right, chasing midtown girls holding hands and forgetting their names
I graduated but every year in May I get that ‘schools out’ feeling
So I wanna leave and pretend that I'm not a cheater and I can't help leaving
[Chorus:]
Blame it on the bikinis, party girls, and martinis and the sunshine
Private school daughters that never go under water keeping their hair just right
I know in September, I'm gonna remember how much I love her
I'm single for the suh-uh-uh single for the summer
All of these pretty young thangs (pretty young thangs)
Can make you forget a goodbye set
Try to make a good guy bad
[Chorus:]
Blame it on the bikinis, party girls, and martinis and the sunshine
Private school daughters that never go under water keeping their hair just right
I know in September, I'm gonna remember how much I love her
I'm single for the suh-uh-uh single for the summer
I'm single for the suh-uh-uh single for the summer
Why do I love all of these city girls
Why do I love all of these city girls
Why do I love all of these city girls with pretty eyes
Down on the money and Broken hearted rich girls, the debutants, the small town runaways
All dolled up at the bar, with debit cards, they don’t know how pretty they are
City girls, city girls
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Lights
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Posted:Feb 24, 2015 3:55 am
Last Updated:Mar 6, 2015 12:01 pm
9759 Views
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We weave in and out of consciousness alone
Til our bodies collide and keep us from getting cold
Skin pores open up and swallow each other whole
And the scars we collect connect and reverse the flow
And so it goes
And so it goes
Emotions in motions motion us to wars
And our last experience has served as swords
Each life that we take burns holes into the walls
Til the roof caves and we wash up on the shore
And so it goes
And so it goes
And so it goes
And so it goes
But there's a light
If you dare to believe it
It floods in and washes all away
Blood, sweat and tears won't retrieve it
You just have to wait to receive,
The light
If you dare to believe it
It floods in and washes all away
Blood, sweat and tears won't retrieve it
You just have to wait to receive it
Blood, sweat and tears won't retrieve it
You just have to wait to receive it
Blood, sweat and tears won't retrieve it
You just have to wait to receive it
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Be who I want---pet peave!!!
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Posted:Jan 11, 2015 9:16 am
Last Updated:Feb 23, 2015 5:42 am
11082 Views
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SMH~So my emails...I get the ones thay just say Hi hello Hi.sexy-how you doing--You have No Idea how that that just chaps my ass!!! Ugh that just is an automatic delete...Those crazy fantasy I meet you in some dark ally to give you a blowjob in a trenchcoat...lol that is NEVER happening... Well only if you look like...ummm?!?!! BUT 1 --has to look like the man I want in My fantasies!!! Just a casual Hello with small witty comments tell me little about yourself, flatter me but not crazy over the top(haha) chat a little see if we click. LoL I should write a book...Ok ~so my profile I think is specific to what kind of men I am extremely attracted to. I've been single and on here long enough to know what I like and with who I will spend what little free time to de-stress. I know what I am attracted to. I like men who can hold my interest one who will laugh with me(very important)...I am single mom who does it all from housework , 2-3jobs, maintain active social events, Be Mom and a dad for my , I cook-clean-bring home the bacon!!! LoL it's not all about you...its about what I want ... Need (as well )... Just kidding its about the fun that is created together...Simple Quality vs Quantity... Picky Picky because I am...as should you. That's all... . I Am Totally Venting!!!
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so true
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Posted:Dec 28, 2014 4:25 am
Last Updated:May 10, 2024 11:23 am
11111 Views
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!!!
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so true
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Posted:Dec 28, 2014 4:25 am
Last Updated:Jan 3, 2015 11:12 am
10964 Views
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!!!
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so true
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Posted:Dec 28, 2014 4:25 am
Last Updated:Dec 28, 2014 7:13 pm
11023 Views
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!!!
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