Social Networking
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Posted:Dec 29, 2008 2:23 pm
Last Updated:May 28, 2024 8:22 pm
1694 Views
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It pains me to admit that as a 37 year old I am on Facebook. In fact, it is/was a little creepy to me that I would even join such a site. Then again; I am on here. Regardless, I joined on a lark after some friends were talking about how many old ffriends they had found there.
No worries right? I spent the first few days here and there tweaking my settings and adding current friends (who knew all of those old folks were there?). Enjoyable as that is, the main goal has not been acheived. Find some people I no longer talk to and have not spoken with in years. No problem.
Mid-search for an old buddy I get a friend invite from my high school girlfriend. You know, first love and all that stuff. She's married; ; house; the whole shebang and she wants to be friends. She left me when I was picking out rings. What a kick in the teeth, but hell, to have her back in my life at all is a blessing and I'll take what I can get.
Moving on, I started looking for old classmates and friends. I can remember maybe 3 names. That's it. Guess there's a reason we are no longer friends.
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My coolness quotient just went up a bit.
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Posted:Oct 6, 2008 4:17 pm
Last Updated:Jan 11, 2009 8:41 am
1950 Views
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So several years ago (like 6) I paid for a refurb jager machine from a buddy of mine who is a sales rep for a liquor distributorship. It was going to be the centerpiece of a Superbowl party. Unfortunately, I never got it, but my friend has paid me back for it by buying drinks for me when I've seen him.
Now, fast forward to Friday when I ran into him and his wife at a local bar. It turns out that he has a gift for me. I am getting a brand new 6 bottle capacity jager machine and a case of jager. His wife is bringing it to me tomorrow.
Party to follow soon. Get on my good side and maybe I'll save you some.
Once the jager has been ingested, I have agreed to donate this machine to Dud's for use in their outside bar. If you're ever in town stop by and have a round of cold, syruppy goodness.
Houston/BCS only has 3 of these machines availble. I get one. Go me!!!
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I must be doing it wrong
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Posted:Oct 5, 2008 3:16 pm
Last Updated:Jan 11, 2009 8:39 am
1560 Views
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Now I have been a member of Find a Cougar for much longer than I have been an active participant. In fact, I'm really not that much of a participant. What I wonder is, how in the world some of these guys have the success here that they purport to have.
Many are grandstanding and outright lying to be sure. All of them can't be. Well, they are guys, so I guess it's possible, but really? Do the: "Hey, I'm BigBobandTheCock, wanna suck me off while I rest my beer on your head?" posts really work on any of you? Is it a degradation thing? Maybe I just have too much respect for myself and for women to do anything like that.
Oh crap, now I just put myself in the nice guy category. I'm toast.
For the record, I have not tried to "hit on" anyone on here. I would not even know how to approach it. Not because I've never hit on anyone, etc, it's just rather embarrassing to me to do so within this format.
Hush you! Harmless flirting is not "hitting on" someone.
Back to the point of the thread here. For those of you who have hooked up, gotten involved with, or even replied to a obvious pass on here, what drew you to that person? I'm curious more than anything. I can't even see myself trying; all of the women on here that I would consider throwing myself out there for already have 10000 better prospects bombarding them.
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If I could have a moment of your time...
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Posted:May 5, 2008 6:48 pm
Last Updated:May 24, 2008 7:45 pm
1692 Views
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They say a man should always dress for the job he wants.
So why am I dressed up like a pirate in this restaurant?
It's all because some hacker stole my i-dent-i-ty.
Now I'm in here every evening serving chowder and iced-tea.
Shoulda gone to FREE-***** REPORT . ***
Coulda seen this comin at me like an atom bomb...
Sorry, but that has been stuck in my head for a day now. Hopefully, you won't have the same curse. If you do, I suggest the Oreo cookie song as a ward against it.
Happy Cinco de Mayo!
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A joke for youse guys
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Posted:May 1, 2008 8:25 pm
Last Updated:May 28, 2024 8:22 pm
1622 Views
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Harry is getting along in years and finds that he is unable to perform
sexually. He finally goes to his doctor, who tries a few things but
nothing seems to work. So the doctor refers him to an American Indian
medicine man.
The medicine man says, "I can cure this." That said, he throws a white
powder in a flame, and there is a flash with billowing blue smoke. Then he
says, "This is powerful medicine. You can only use it once a year. All you
have to do is say '123' and it shall rise for as long as you wish!"
The guy then asks, "What happens when it's over, and I don't want to
continue?"
The medicine man replies: "All you or your partner has to say is 1234, and
it will go down. But be warned -- it will not work again for another year!"
Harry rushes home, eager to try out his new powers and prowess. That night
he is ready to surprise Joyce. He showers, shaves, and puts on his most
exotic shaving lotion. He gets into bed, and lying next to her says, "123."
He suddenly becomes more aroused than anytime in his life. Just as the
medicine man had promised. Joyce, who had been facing away, turns over and
asks, "What did you say 123 for?"
And that, my friends, is why you shouldn't end a sentence with a
preposition.
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The blind date saga
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Posted:Apr 27, 2008 2:23 pm
Last Updated:Oct 8, 2008 5:43 am
1679 Views
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Several years back when I lived in Austin and worked all the time there was some difficulty meeting quality women. So, like any red-blooded man I hung out at the Crazy Lady every Friday night after work. I managed a pizza place. Believe me when I say we went into that shit-hole of a boobie patch covered in flour and pizza sauce after 10 hours or so of sweating in a hot kitchen. We did not smell good. Anywhoo... the point is we became regulars and would spend $$$ there every Friday and we never gave anyone a hard time.
Well over time, the manager and the girls became friendly with us and we had our own table. When we showed up the manager moved whomever was at our table and sat us down; bought our first round and there was always a girl at our table the whole evening. this is where i began the practice of just giving a random dancer $20 and saying, "Hey, just go take a rest during whatever song you would like." this was a big hit because these girls knew they weren't going to have to dance or work for at least one song.
After about 5 months of visits there was a dancer, let's just call her Sable, who decided she was going to hook us up with some of her friends. Ok, I'll try anything once and agreed. Sable was not a very attractive girl, but she was nice enough and always had a smile on her face. I expected roughly the same from her friends. I was wrong.
We agreed to meet our respective dates at the Elephant room as we were informed that they we, "high class," ladies. Cool. We are sitting at a table near to the small stage so we could see the band and still be able to talk. I look up from my tanq and tonic to see two of the absolutely most gorgeous women I have ever seen and gawk a sec and go back to waiting for my date. About 5 minutes later there is a shadow over me and I look up to see Sweet Mary Jane Glory be to God in the Highest, beauty queen and her friend standing at our table. they introduce themselves as "Laney and Deb." My friend is drooling so much he cannot speak and I blurt something out about my name being blub,fup.boobob. eventually I collect myself and ask them to sit and what drink can I get them.
We talk for hours and have a good evening. turns out my date, Laney, is leaving in a week to go to the Ms. Fitness USA contest and the other girl, Deb, is about to star in a movie. yep, porn. This night could not get any fucking better could it. Oh but it does. These two girls have been dating one another for a year and get quite amorous at the table. At one point I believe I made the table jump and inch or so while they were mugging down. Every single person in that place as well as the band is staring at our table and I have the biggest shit-eating grin on my face. The girls decide it's time to leave and we go.
Back at my friend's house he and Deb go to his room and Laney and I are in his living room on the couch. We are messing around and getting quite into things. My friend and his girl are making so much noise that we turn up the stereo to cover their howls. Great times. Great times... Laney has perfect breasts, her body is hard, smooth and there is a lovely little landing strip to guide me home. We are well on our way when I hear the most blood-curdling scream ever. My friend comes running out of the room eyes wider than Rosie at a BBQ buffet, he looks like he's seen his parents having sex. he looks at me and asks, "Does yours have a dick?" I thought to myself, "well she was about too." he sits down. Deb comes out of the room with a noticeable erection; I loose mine instantly and she and Laney leave.
Moral: If you let your not so hot stripper friend set you up with women who are way out of your league, odds are one of them will have a dick.
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Crazy Camera Girls make me laugh
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Posted:Apr 26, 2008 12:05 pm
Last Updated:Jun 5, 2010 11:31 am
1782 Views
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No seriously, I don't mean the webcam ladies on here who hang it all out for the world to see. I mean the young ladies who whip out their camera phones every time one of their friends has a thought.
A little background: I live in a college town.
OK, that's enough background.
So I'm at my favorite watering hole last night minding my own business when some little tart shoves a camera phone in my face.
"Mister, would you take a picture of me an my girls?"
"Of course young lady, let me put on my reading glasses and move my walker out of the way first though."
"Ok."
So...
They proceed to pose all sprawled out like hookers. That's the most action that pool table's gotten in a while.
Great googly moogly, I thought to myself as they posed for about ten pictures (which I emailed myself). They certainly made my night.
Anyway, back to the point of the matter. Every time I turned around last night, some little coed was taking a picture of her and her friends vogue-ing for a camera phone pic.
I remember when us old folks had to wait 60 seconds for a bad polaroid to develop.
Hrmmm... I've gone off point again. Must be time to go back to the bar.
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I finally cleaned my closet
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Posted:Apr 23, 2008 3:38 am
Last Updated:Oct 5, 2008 3:17 pm
1669 Views
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I was asked to put this as a blog entry, so I reckon I'll comply. I'm pliant like that. No, that doesn't mean I'm very bendy.
So I've been cleaning out my closet and I've found a bunch of crap to throw away. Speak up now if you want any of it and I'll put it on the sidewalk with your name on it.
One pair of size 7 ladies hush puppies with an AC/DC sticker on the left shoe.
An old copy of Car and Driver that has an article about the new invention of CDs.
A VHS tape of Mallrats
One signed picture of Pia Zidora before her second nose job
Two empty Clausen pickle jars (I have no idea why I saved these).
A JVC 8-track tape holder (it holds 12) no tapes though
My ex-wife's shoe tree with one size 5 pump. It's green.
an apron that says "The cook does BBQ saucier than you!"
And..
an old unused ticket to the Pink Floyd Laser Light Show at the Houston Planetarium.
Speak up; this stuff should go fast.
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