SLAA Confidential
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Posted:Nov 24, 2008 5:35 pm
Last Updated:Jan 26, 2009 9:55 am
11689 Views
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When the older spouse forced me to begin going to the SLAA meetings, I was really upset about it, mainly because it was just one more neon sign trying to convince me that our less than stellar sex life was my fault and not his.
After I gave it more thought, I was very excited because it occurred to me that the meetings would be the ideal place for me to find freaky and fun boys to play with.
Yay for me, right?
WRONG!!!!
Much to my disappointment, the meetings were not co-ed.
I thought to myself, oh well i'll just get some fun chick on chick action out of this.
Whereas you'd think I would be deep breathing level horny listening to these women tell the tales of their relapse, it turns out that them sounding like they may need a couple weeks in a psych ward does not turn me on at all.
But it does make me giggle just like when you were in fourth grade and your friend would stick an eraser or something up their nose.
That's why i'm sharing some highlights of today's meeting.....
In my SLAA meeting there are 8 people that are regulars, from time to time a few extra may drop in.
Today i'm only going to tell you about two of them but with a little background as requested.
Andrea:
She is the typical area 40+ tennis playing, soccer mom.
Coming dressed in a jogging suit to be casual, but with a mask of thick makeup, blonde Farrah Fawcett hair and plenty of diamonds.
She always comes in with her nose in the air, giving all the other women the up and down before taking her seat.
The reason she attends the meetings is because she was having sex with strangers on a regular basis.
I think it was her that confessed that she had sex with a hotel bellboy while on her honeymoon.
Ok, so here's what was up with her today:
Apparently, over the weekend she went to a craft fair with her husband and two . At some point in the afternoon she had sex with some guy she didn't know in a porta-potty.
I've decided therapist sucks and should be fired immediately.
He didn't find it necessary to ask her any questions about the details of her tryst, all he asked her was how it made her feel.
Who the hell cares how it made her feel?
I wanted to know how she hooked up with the guy in the first place.
Was she eating her corn suggestively?
I had a laundry list of questions and it was making me crazy!!
Cally or Sally (not sure which):
She is about my age, very mousy looking, always dressed in drab colors. I can only assume her look is to assure that she fades into the background and never stands out in public.
That's where things really get weird.
As it turns out, our mousy, low talking friend, used to masturbate 10+ times a day, stopped going to work and eventually got fired. She has never had a serious relationship.
Her hardcore Southern Baptist parents had her in counseling with the family minister, who allegedly tried to have sex with her.
Ok, so her issue today was that she decided she needed to come clean to the fact that she regularly broadcasts herself masturbating on a web cam.
Once again, useless therapist didn't even ask her if it was on a specific site.
So there you have it, the minutes from today's meeting.
Do you feel like you were there?
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14
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The Sexual Revolution
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Posted:Nov 22, 2008 10:15 pm
Last Updated:Nov 24, 2008 7:12 pm
10640 Views
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I recently watched a fascinating documentary about Free love, here's what I got out of it..........
Basically the hippies in San Francisco were fighting to make Free Love happen in the 60's.
The movement didn't really hit the suburbs until the early 70's, which then turned into a celebration of free love when everyone was smoking pot, everyone was having lots of sex, and everyone loved rock & roll.
There were sexual adventures around every corner.
The 70's were the greatest act of sexual freedom in American history.
Anita Bryant(Boo-Hiss) believed that gay people were deviants trying to recruit into what she believed was nothing more than a cult.
She was gay bashing on a live TV talk show one time and in the middle of the broadcast a gay guy ran through the studio and shoved a pie in her face. God, how I wish it had been cherry, but sadly, it was only lemon meringue.
Gloria Steinem believed the sexual revolution only meant making more women sexually available for men.
**I don't agree with quite a bit of her extremist beliefs personally, but without her, I sincerely believe we would not have any publications like the one I mention below.
Erica Jung, author of "Fear of Flying" wrote about womens fantasies. She believed in a concept she called the
"zipless fuck" ex: A woman could see a beautiful man, go have a wonderful sexual experience and then part without an exchange of names, all being the woman's idea and on her terms.
**Thanks Erica, you are my kind of girl!!!
After the Womens rights activists gave Hugh Hefner so much shit for the exploitation of women, Helen Gurley Brown, editor of Cosmopolitan (one of my faves) published the first nude male centerfold in 1972, and it was Burt Reynolds, covering his boy parts only with his hand.
(He was so damn hot back then, even with all that man hair)
The Sandstone Retreat was a 1970's clothing optional resort located in the Santa Monica mountains, it was a completely open sexual society.
**They showed old video from this place and it showed all the nudists filling up their plates from the buffet, just talking and laughing as if none of them were blowing pubic hair in the salad bar,as they head over to take a seat on the shag carpet.
Now, I like to be naked too, but there is no way I would ever be naked on shag carpet! You won't convince me that none of those people stood up from their naked floor picnic and didn't ever have those crazy ass shag fibers stuck to either their balls, ass, vagina, or the combo. YIKES!!!!
The Sandstone resort was also mentioned in a book, near and dear to all that lurk on this site, Dr. Alex Comfort's "Joy of Sex"
that viewed sex as a recreation, it was a catalog of sexual activities.
It's believed that the average american owns at least two books, the Bible and The Joy of Sex.
**I wonder if the doctor is still alive, that could be some pretty good sex. We all know i'm not afraid of a Grandpa now don't we? I know, I know, that was tacky.
The Sexual Revolution also gave us one of the greatest gifts we have today.....Mainstream PORN!!!!
It all started with "Deep Throat", a true cult classic.
Oh what a movie! The story was about this girl that couldn't get satisfied sexually so she goes to see a doctor, who discovers that her clit is in the back of her throat. The doctor of course shoves his cock in her mouth, finally giving her an orgasm. Fantastic!!
They called this movie the Gone With The Wind of pornography.
Even Jackie Kennedy saw it, at that point, the movies were referred to as "Porno Chic".
Just more evidence that if it was good enough for Jackie, it's good enough for me, because she was the definition of fabulous.
You were considered culturally negligent if you weren't able to talk about it at dinner parties.
Linda Lovelace, the female lead in "Deep Throat" is considered to be the very first Porn Star.
Q & A Time
If you take out the possibility of any life threatening STD's,
would you take part in Free Love today?
Would you live on a commune that is a completely open sexual society? (I know where a couple of yes's will come from)
In this commune, if you are interested in someone you are free to approach them and if you click, you're gettin it on.
You can have your choice of private sleeping quarters or a communal sleeping area. Communal showers.
You can be naked 24/7 if you so wish.
I want so badly to answer this one myself, but i'm going to wait for a few of you to go first.
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My Vagina is out of ICU
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Posted:Nov 19, 2008 1:44 pm
Last Updated:Dec 13, 2008 8:26 am
12442 Views
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I'm so excited!!
I read all these blogs with sex stories all the time and I get so jealous, finally, that's right, finally, I have something to share!!! Yay! (ok, everyone clap now)
Ok let's recap, after my vagina felt like a shanked prison inmate, I was worried about it's ability to be at peak performance, just in case the older spouse went out for the evening and I was able to pull off bringing in Bargirl the hot latina slit licker.(Yes,I know that was crude but it's true)
I had to originally give Bargirl her walking papers because last time we slept together, she made me cum so hard that a weird pain shot up my back(felt good though) and I thought I was gonna stroke out. I mean how the hell would I have explained that?
So I call her up Friday, leave her a message:
"hey just wanted to see what you were up to" that was just in case I changed my mind or found a way to get out of my house and go play with boys.
She calls me back less then a minute later, I immediately remembered the other reason I cut her loose...Because she wanted me to be a full time lesbian with her. By the way, she has a hot live-in boyfriend. Just because I indulge in some occasional chick on chick does not mean I want to be a lesbian.
I can't imagine life without a nice hard cock that doesn't require batteries or some kind of belt apparatus.
Anyway, so I ask her what she's doing Saturday night because if I can get all the duct tape off my vagina(kidding) I might want to play. She gets all excited and says:
"oh yeah, mmmmm, ooh i've missed you, mmmmm"
I'm thinkin, oh great she really might kill me this time.
I tend to my wound all night, putting neosporin on it, even foregoing my self pleasuring ritual, I was sans panties all night with legs open hoping the air blowing on her would speed up the healing process.
At 7am Bargirl calls me and says "OMG I just remembered I have to work tonight" I say "ok, we'll just make it another time then" wait, did I mention that she's a dancer at one of the upscale gentlemen's clubs in Atlanta? Like how I cleaned that up?
Ok fine, she's a stripper! But at the Cheetah and that's a pretty swank place. Whatever, she's a smokin hot latina that is convinced she's in love with my girlie parts.
What's not to love about that?
Back to the story, so after I tell her we'll get together another time, she says "oh no you need me i'm on my way right now" (I may have mentioned why I wanted her to come see me)
I don't normally play kissy face with girls until dark or shortly before, really depending on how many martinis i've had so the idea of this in the full on daytime, not to mention before breakfast, made me a little nervous. I was afraid it would be like doing it in my Gyno's office or even the dentist's office, oh no wait, I forgot,I have a dentist office fantasy so that one doesn't count, but you know what I mean, right?
So she lives about 45 minutes away, which gives me time to get cute and wrap my head around this whole thing.
She arrives, we exchange hellos, she follows me into the kitchen, i'm just chatting away, when she grabs me, pushes me against my counter and plunges her tongue in my mouth.
I'm wearing little girlie boxers and a cami tank.
Next thing I know i'm sitting on my counter and she's licking my neck. I don't even remember getting on the counter, but I do remember the granite was ice cold on my ass. She's pulled up my tank and is kissing my stomach, i've always appreciated the fact that she's such a take charge kinda girl.
Any other time she has come to visit me we've had to have playtime in my closet, usually because he's home but thinks we're trying on clothes. So Bargirl says "he's not home, does that mean we can get in your bed?" Well, hell yeah, of course it does.....
We giggle and speed walk into my bedroom, I don't even get turned around and she's got her hands on my ass trying to get my boxers off. By the time she gets them off i'm so wet with excitement that i'm surprised it wasn't running down my legs.
There was just something about a hot chick on high thread count sheets that had me ready to pounce like a panther that day.
We're both naked making out on my bed, it didn't take long for her to head south when, once again, without notice, she flips me over onto all fours, spreads my legs with her knee, leans down and starts licking my pussy from behind!!!
I did remember that she does that, and it's probably one of the reasons she got a call back.
(insert that song "Sexual Healing" here)
When end up in a daytime 69, me on top, when she finally let me cum I thought I was gonna crush her skull with my legs.
We layed on my bed talking and playing with each other's various parts for 30 minutes or so.
I decided it was tub time, i'm a water baby, remember?
I had some smell good stuff in the water and minimum bubbles, a mouth full of soap tasting bubbles is not sexy.
We lathered each others boobs up, it was all nice and slow and I must have blacked out for a brief moment because somehow I ended up sitting on the edge of my tub and she's got a face full of my pussy. She didn't let me cum right then, she stood up in the tub, hiked one leg on the edge, positioning herself over me and I licked and sucked her until her thighs shook and she nearly ripped out my hair.(That's right, i'm talented) She goes back to doing her little tongue dance on me and when I started to cum, it happened again, that weird pain shot up my back and down the back of my thighs.
What in the hell is she doing down there?
Since it didn't kill me the last couple of times I wasn't so worried about it this time and suspect my fat, hairy bellied, pervy neighbor heard me having the orgasm of the year.
Oh yeah, wasn't I suppose to be giving you an update on my injury? Well, it made it through and had no complaints.
Turns out Bargirl kissed it all better.
(mrstwo that last line was just for you)
After that amazing experience, instead of being satisfied for a while, i'm craving a FMF threesome like crazy.
I'll keep you posted on the progress of that one.
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Make Sex Even Sexier
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Posted:Nov 17, 2008 8:37 am
Last Updated:Nov 23, 2008 5:02 am
10265 Views
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This is from an article I just read called...
Make Sex Even Sexier
Close your eyes and think of your last sexual encounter.
You're probably recalling how it felt , since touch is the primary sense engaged during sex.
But invoking multiple senses at once has a hot payoff:
It heightens each individual sense
like how an orchestra is more powerful than a single instrument playing.
Different senses arouse different areas of the brain, so combining several creates a more arousing experience.
Smell:
Spritzing on a fragrance with notes of vanilla or cinnamon can make you seem and feel seductive and powerful.
Cinnamon is considered an aphrodisiac in many cultures, and the scent of vanilla has been shown to increase blood flow to the male organ.
(I guess Granny Clampett, from the Beverly Hillbillies had the right idea. She used to dab vanilla behind her ears. I don't ever remember her getting laid though.)
Sight
In word association studies, red is the number one color attached to sexuality.
The girl should don a red bra and panties.
Research has found that both seeing and wearing fiery colors stimulate desire.
(Hmmm,I do tend to feel sexier when I wear red)
Hearing:
Turn on some latin music.
The strong, speedy beat revs up your energy level, excites you, and establishes a fun atmosphere.
It also sets a fast intense tempo for sex.
(I don't know about this one, I have to think that it would just make me want to dance, you know like when you're in a mexican restaurant)
Taste:
Chili peppers contain capsaicin, a substance that increases blood flow, thus boosting arousal. Then pop in a mint and treat each other to oral. The tingliness intensifies the sensations.
(Popsicles,cool whip,pudding,strawberries or any fruit really, jello,chocolate syrup, and ice cream. These are sex lovin tasty things to put in my mouth,a chili pepper is not, but that's just me)
Touch:
Evoke an animalistic attitude by gently nipping each other's neck and lips.
Sexual arousal and aggression run along the same neural pathways, so a rougher touch can amp up lust.
(This one turns me on, I do enjoy an animalistic attitude during sex every now and then, or anytime really)
Ok, If I were to try any of this that claims to amp up the lust, pick up the passion, stimulate my desire, intensify my sex tempo, I may actually kill my partner.
Especially with my sex sessions being so few and far between lately.
I get so excited when it's time to get my freak on, that it's possible the other person involved may get a little frightened. I guess I can't really blame them, to top it all off, i'm also hyperactive, but whatever, most of them like it when I do naked trampoline flips on the bed.
What do you think about this sexual menu for success?
Does this sound like something you'd try to sex up your sex?
Have you ever tried anything like this before?
If you decide to check this out, please keep me posted on the results.
Even if the outcome is:
My partner got a terrible rash because she apparently is allergic to vanilla, then my watch got caught on the lace of the red panties, she was screaming from the pain but I couldn't hear her because the latin music was so loud. I thought she was moaning with pleasure so I shoved a chili pepper in her mouth and she punched me in the nose.
**Oh yeah, bargirl did pay me a visit this weekend, but you'll just have to wait for that story.
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R.I.P. Vagina Waxer
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Posted:Nov 13, 2008 12:51 pm
Last Updated:May 3, 2012 5:58 pm
11708 Views
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Well, those bastards at Spa Sydell have banished me because I missed my appointment again.
I can't help it, since I don't have the midtown condo love nest anymore, i'm not in the area very much and I forget.
Every other time it's happened I call and get them to beg the lady who waxes me to fit me in and promise presents for everyone.
Which, I might add, I have produced every single time as promised.
A few months ago I tried getting waxed at one of the spas near my house, that was met with negative results.
They didn't get as, we'll just call it invasive as my regular lady does so two weeks later I needed a touch up.
Even though i'm by no means shy, it's still not the most comfortable thing having someone new waxing your privates.
My regular lady has had her face in my business for so many years that it's no more uncomfortable to me than having a pedicure.
Ok, i'm not normally naked from the waist down while at the nail salon, but you get the idea.
I attempted to shave this morning and it was a disaster.
First I cut my ankle, then I cut my girlie part, right at the very bottom of it.
I don't know if you're aware of this, but you can't put a band aid there. It won't stick.
That's right,I tried (no laughing) and it wouldn't.
Clearly I have no business grooming myself.
I prefer to be hairless like one of those funny looking dogs.
I'll have to find someone new to do the job.
Maybe it would be easier if the new waxer could maybe meet me at Starbucks for a Latte and a chat first, you know to get to know each other before she pours hot wax on my vagina.
It would be like having dinner with someone to have small talk before you have sex with them.
So what am I gonna do now?
Where am I ever going to find a waxer that i'm as comfortable with as I was her.
My vagina has been injured and the gauze I duct taped to it keeps slipping off.(i'm just kidding)
But it does hurt and there's no way she's getting up close and personal with anyone anytime soon.
The older spouse is going out and I was thinking I might just have bargirl come by and say hi.
Do you think she'll be better by Saturday night?
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The Opposite of Satisfied
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Posted:Nov 12, 2008 5:29 pm
Last Updated:Nov 23, 2008 9:49 pm
11890 Views
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.....It was March when I finally gave into him.
He'd asked me out so many times I had lost count.
I wasn't interested.
He was too old for me, even though he didn't look close to his age.
I knew we wouldn't have anything in common and it would never work.
He was sweet, kind, polite, and looked at me like I was the only other person besides him in that crowded bar in Savannah.
I couldn't deny that he was one of the most handsome men i'd ever seen. Tall, black hair, olive toned, clearly Italian.
He looked like a younger Michael Madsen....Beautiful!
The night I showed up at his hotel to surprise him, changed my life forever.
I'd never had anyone make my body feel the way he did.
He was so attentive, so skilled, it was as if he'd known me forever and knew exactly what I wanted and needed.
It was the most amazing night of sex i've ever had.
I tried to pretend that I wasn't in love, but I was.
He romanced me in a way that made me feel like I was in one of those old movies.
He would run wonderful, lavender scented bubble baths for me.
I'd lay against his chest and he'd kiss me on the neck as he softly told me how much he loved me in Italian.
What girl could resist? I was only 24 and didn't stand a chance.
For the next 8 years everything was perfect, I was treated like a princess. Other women would comment on how they wish their husbands loved them like he loved me.
We would go to parties, i'd look across the room and find him staring at me with a smile on his face, then he would mouth things like,"you're so beautiful" and "I love you".
I knew I was the luckiest girl in the world, I couldn't possibly be any happier.
I had it all, a fantastic husband,a beautiful home,the best sex and plenty of it, basically anything and everything I wanted.
About 4 years ago he told me no to sex for the first time ever.
I have never turned him down for sex.
The no's kept coming, finally deciding that something was wrong with me, he made me feel defective, sub par, not good enough.
He stopped spending time with me.
He only acted like he loved me when people were around.
He started being demanding and treating me like an employee, instead of the woman he supposedly loved so much.
My heart was broken and he didn't seem to care.
I let this go on for over a year.
I tried everything to make him want me again.
The first time I kissed someone other than him, I felt awful, like a .
The first time I gave my body to anyone other than him (without him knowing) the guilt was so horrible, it was like a cancer eating away at my soul. Several times I wanted to just tell him what i'd done. Thankfully I didn't.
Fast forward 12 years to now.............
He has killed it. I have no idea what he would have to do to fix it at this point. I think it's un fixable.
The love I used have has now been traded for resentment and anger.
As a result,the soul eating guilt has gone away.
I can have sex with other men and come home and look him in the eye with no problem.
I'm just numb now, he did this to me.
I think i'm supposed to want to have a relationship where i'll be loved and adored again, but I don't feel like I do.
I don't know that i'll ever be able to trust anyone with my heart again. I don't know if I even want to.
I dissolved the first string of boys I used to keep around about five months ago. I had decided that it would be easier just to have the #1BF, even though i've always been honest with all of them, telling them they would never be the only man in my life.
I've only missed having the others once or twice since then.
Now i'm thinking that may be exactly what I need.
No commitments.
Having things be on my terms.
Having fingertip available sex, much like the tampon machine in a ladies room.
Yeah, that might be just what the alleged sex addict needs to satisfy her needs again.
*I think this is my weekly venting session.
I needed my cheap therapy today I guess.
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My Long Ass Profile
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Posted:Nov 11, 2008 9:22 am
Last Updated:Nov 23, 2008 5:05 am
11196 Views
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Do you think that we as blog posters/readers have a more detailed profile than most others?
Are ours more descriptive perhaps because we are able to put our thoughts and feelings into words so easily?
I get messages all the time saying things like "I read your whole profile and it's long, cuz that's how into you I am".
I don't think mine is too long, it's just very detailed.
Wouldn't you read someone's entire profile if you were even remotely interested in them?
Personally, I would bypass anyones profile that's only half assed filled out or just has a few words describing what they are looking for but nothing about themselves.
There is no way i'm responding to a message that simply says, "i'm interested".
The basic lack of creativity is a major turn off for me.
I can't help it, a man's mind will capture me every time.
I think a half assed approach to writing the profile is a clear sign of the kind of partner they would be.
I immediately think, ok, he will put little effort into my pleasure, he won't listen to anything I have to say, I bet he's got the stamina of an excited 15 year old.
I don't know about you, but none of this is of any interest to me.
What are your thoughts on this?
What do you think about someone not caring enough to take the time to give more than one sentence worth of information about themselves?
Do you think my profile is too long?
Do you think the more details the better?
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My Inner Porn Star
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Posted:Nov 10, 2008 11:42 am
Last Updated:Nov 15, 2008 9:56 am
11112 Views
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I was reading nastytease's blog poll about what kind of porn you prefer and it got me thinking about self pleasure.
Don't you think self pleasure is much more appealing term than masturbation? It's just so clinical.
Anyway, I wondered if any of you make noise when you're alone and orgasm. I do make noise and have for as long as I can remember, I certainly haven't always been AS vocal as I am now, but have always made some kind of noise.
I've always gotten kind of lost in the moment, starting with that midpoint where it just feels so unbelievable that you wouldn't care if your Grandmother walked in, you still wouldn't stop. Yeah! You know what I mean...mmmmmmm
Two of my college roommates still tease me about being able to hear me cum, thinking I had a boy in my bedroom, only to find out that I was all by myself.
Well a girls gotta do what she's gotta do, know what I mean?
I'm not shy anyway.
I truly believe that you can't be the highest quality of lover if you aren't comfortable loving yourself.
I can't tell you how many times the older spouse has walked in and i've been playing with my toys, and by the way, he rarely offers to help anymore.
Ok, this is where you say "awww! that poor sweet girl".
Tell me i'm not the only one that makes noise when i'm all alone. I've always thought that there's a porn movie running in my head all the time and that's why I need so much sex and come up with the crazy ideas that I have. So maybe it's the porn star inside me releasing herself.
Who knows why I do it, but if it's enhancing the feeling I give myself, than i'll continue to moan, squeak, giggle, or whatever it is that I do until the neighbors complain.
Just kidding, i'm not that damn loud.
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You Found Internet Love & Your Fly Was Down
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Posted:Nov 8, 2008 2:47 pm
Last Updated:Nov 15, 2008 7:11 pm
11423 Views
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You know those commercials that show the couples all happy, talking about how they weren't having any luck finding love on their own so they turned to Eharmony for help and now they've met their soul mate and gotten married?
I know two people that have met their guys on the internet dating game, one was actually on Eharmony and the other was on Yahoo. Both couples are still together and one of them is getting married this Spring.
One of my blog readers found his soul mate on this site and they have recently had a baby. I don't think they were necessarily looking for much more than a sex date when they met, but got the bonus plan.
Is internet dating going to replace the bar crawl for meeting people?
Do you think that some people come to this site for the sole purpose of finding true love?
I wonder if they are looking for their perfect mate and want to make sure that they'll have the same sexual tastes as them from the start instead of having to do the normal song and dance where you ease your partner into your fetishes, hoping like hell you don't freak them out and send them running out the door?
I'm curious if any of the singles on this site that have the ever popular "NSA" written boldly on their profiles are really opposed to a relationship because they enjoy having a buffet of lovers at their disposal, or if they are hoping that the guy or girl of their dreams will turn out to be someone from here that can and will give them the kind of sex they need.
For example:
He finds a chick that will swallow every last drop he's got right after she fucks him with a strap on.
She finds a guy that loves to service all of her oral needs, over and over, including some moderate ass licking action.
If I were to marry again, which I can't realistically ever see happening for me, but if I did, he would have to meet all of my sexual needs, every single one on my list. I would refuse to settle for anything less. Oh yeah, they'd also have to meet all of my non-sexual needs as well.
Yes, it's true, every now and then I do have a thought that doesn't involve sex. Crazy huh?
If you were to find, what you believe to be your love match on this site, would you be open to exploring where it might go?
Would you be able to trust that person, knowing what they'd been up to in their past?
Would you tell other people, like family members where you met?
Would you continue to play on this site?
Would you get jealous thinking they might find someone they like better on here?
Believe it or not, all this was sparked from me seeing that Eharmony commercial where they're at the bowling alley, he's hugging her and she looks like she's being held against her will because he's secretly a homicidal maniac.
If internet dating did become the primary way we hook up, i'd be all for it.
Think about it, while you're getting to know someone, you don't ever have to worry about any of the bad things that can happen, like your mascara being smudged or your fly being down.
It could work!!!
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Pardon Me, Could You Help Me Find My VULVA?
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Posted:Nov 6, 2008 10:18 pm
Last Updated:Nov 15, 2008 6:06 pm
10043 Views
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Here's some interesting facts:
More than 1/2 of men and women are currently unsatisfied with their sex lives.
40 million people are in sexless marriages
The #1 reason couples sex lives suffer is communication.
Couples in long term relationships feel that they shouldn't have to talk about sexual issues because their partners should already know what they need.
Having a good sex life:......
1.Makes you look 7-12yrs younger
2.Strengthen your immune system by 33%
3.Decrease heart disease by 50%
4.Decrease stress levels and stress
5.Relieve menstrual cramps and headaches
**I have said for years that having sex helps me get rid of a headache and women think i'm crazy, i've always thought it's because the orgasm relaxes me so much. I knew I was right!!**
It takes men 5-10 minutes to reach orgasm
It takes women 15-20 minutes to reach orgasm
Fantasy is important to keep your sex life alive and well.
Couples that don't share fantasies say they don't because they're worried about being judged by their partner.
It is very common for strong, busy, multi tasking women to fantasize about being dominated.
**Well that explains a lot for me anyway**
Most women don't know where their clit is or that it will give you an orgasm.(Clearly, they're not referring to us)
57% of women have never looked closely at their vagina.
The doctor suggests taking a hand mirror, look at your vulva and identify your parts.
(I do this all the time,gotta keep her close up ready you know)
You can't expect him to love your vulva if you don't love it!!
Take your pleasure into your hands.
(I swear, if masturbation was an olympic sport, I would take home the gold in every event)
They made one lady, who hadn't had sex with her partner in 2 yrs, go take a test that included putting these weird goggles on her that showed her a porn movie and they handed her a vibrator with a rubber glove on it. The idea was to try and get herself aroused so the blood would flow to her clit at that point they'd be able to tell if it was a hormonal thing like pre-mens.
(where the hell is a dr's office like this? I want an appt)
So any of you guys that have a woman at home that won't put out, you may want to book her a spot at the doctor with the porn movies and rubber glove covered vibrator.
Do you agree or disagree with this info?
Or do you have anything to add?
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Did You Really Say That to Me?
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Posted:Nov 5, 2008 1:10 pm
Last Updated:Nov 14, 2008 9:43 am
11347 Views
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Ok, I realize being a girl on this site opens me up for all sorts of things.
I get tons of vulgar messages everyday, my favorite is still
"Hey Wanna Fuck", just for the record, my answer was NO.
It was also NO to the guy that wanted me to meet him in the parking lot of the Home Depot so we could Fuck in his new RV.
Not that it wasn't a tempting offer, but I had to decline.
I don't get offended by much at all, we all know my mind works like that of a guy.
As you know, i'm usually an open book here, well as much as I can be anyway I guess, I have been keeping this to myself instead
of mentioning it on here.
A few days ago I received messages from two different people, one said "I love a big ass" the other said, are you ready for this? "It's ok baby, I like a fat ass".
What the hell???
I go to the gym between 4-5 times a week, making sure to make time for the butt crunch machine every time, because I know without a doubt if I didn't that the bubble butt would be sagging to my knees and look like two soccer balls in a burlap sack.
I'm not offended by the comments, even though in person, each of them would probably get the turned up nose snarl, but I think my biggest issue is why in the hell would they think those comments would gain them a positive response?
I mean seriously, if I were into a guy on here and sent him a message saying "damn your dick is small, hit me up if your interested" ok,hit me up is another thing that bugs me but we'll save that for another day, anyway, what kind of response do you think I would get from that guy?
Would it be the junior high "oh i'll show you small baby"?
Or would it be no response at all? I'm guessing no response.
So, to the two guys that sent me the messages I say this:
Women like to be complimented, worshiped and adored, yes even on this site. Just because this particular collection of women are sex lovers doesn't mean we don't expect the same.
If you're wondering why you're home alone masturbating with a 1973 issue of Hustler that you bought at a yard sale instead of having sex with an actual partner this may be at least one of the reasons. I'm no therapist, this is just my unprofessional opinion.
Clearly they are not blog readers or posters!
These guys need some assistance, don't you think?
Is it just me or does it seem like I bitch about something about once a week?
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Martha Stewart & Pay Per View Porn
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Posted:Nov 3, 2008 12:18 pm
Last Updated:Nov 6, 2008 3:37 pm
10764 Views
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Confession:
So Tantric Tom and I were discussing craft queen, Martha Stewart.
I can't even remember why, but anyway, Tantric Tom confessed that Martha and her bitchiness turns him on, that it just makes him want to fuck her. I think he thought he'd get an EWW! from me, but instead he got a dirty confession.
It's true, I admit it, there's just something about her that makes me want to be her sex slave.
I want her to be a bitch, spank my ass, then go down on me. YEAH!
Hey, maybe I should bring that up in my next SLAA meeting.
I wonder if Martha Stewart has her vagina groomed?
It's probably neat and clean or her bush has been cleverly sculpted into some type of pubic hair topiary.
A Secret Fantasy
You know how you can just press a couple of buttons on your remote and be knee deep in porn? or press one button on a hotel phone and then they bring you food and champagne?
I've always wished I had the same thing for sex.
Like I could just roll over hit the red button and in less than ten minutes someone showed up to service me.
No, not a , like boy/girl friends. I would need both of course.
Or if I lived in an apartment building, there would be one whole floor devoted to me and house only people I want for my sexual pleasure.
It would be kind of like a booty call without the driving and trying to convince the other person that you really do like them in the daytime too and it's just a coincidence that you only call them at 2AM. Oh come on, like you haven't done that too!
It would be "Sex on Demand"
I would press #4 for the pretty boy that you don't allow to talk.
#8 for the guy that knows exactly what to do when he gets to the clit.
#5 for the hot chick with the great boobs that licks me just right.
#9 for the dominant master
Or for a real adventure: #'s 4,5,& 8, six bottles of gatorade and a possible nap.
I know it's just my dirty little self serving fantasy, but I still think it's a brilliant plan, don't you?
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Vagina...Penis....Boring!!!
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Posted:Nov 2, 2008 11:20 am
Last Updated:Nov 8, 2008 7:12 am
10122 Views
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While I was in the shower this morning, soaping up my body under the warm, steamy water, I was reminded of how much I need amazing, thigh shakin sex.
So what's a girl like me to do?
A girl like me puts one foot up on the ledge seat, positioning myself in front of the shower jets so the water hits my clit just right........
So anywaaaayyyy, oh i'm such a tease!!!
After I had a really nice orgasm, I started thinking about the names we have for the Vagina and the Penis.
I typically use HOO HA, unless i'm hanging out with my brothers, my guy friends, having sex, or of course, requesting sex, in those situations it's almost always PUSSY.
After a short polling, here's what I got :
Vagina
Coochi
Vajayjay(My Nanny's Favorite)
Bearded Clam
Sloppy Taco
Box
Meat Wallet(Eww!)
Do you remember that movie Nutty Professor when he's outside the girls window and says "Come on let me put my meat in your taco"?
So funny!! Sorry, this just made me think about that.
Penis
Johnson
Bearded Clam
Dick
Pene
Ding a ling
Salami
Pork Sword(WHAT?)
I'll be completely honest, if someone i'm about to have sex with
is kissing on my neck with their hot breath and then whispers in my ear "Ooh baby, I can't wait to taste your meat wallet" it's pretty much gonna be a deal breaker.
Tell me some of your favorite or bizarre names you've heard or called the vagina and penis.
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To link to this blog (shannalvs2swllow) use [blog shannalvs2swllow] in your messages.
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