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Top 10 things men know about women. 7/11/2010
10.
9.
8.
7.
6.
5.
4.
3.
2. They have breasts.
1. They have a vagina.
1 Comments, 52 Views,
3 Votes
,4.41 Score
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Can girls appreciate some jokes during sex? 7/4/2010
And what are the limits?
I wore a yellow (banana flavored) condom. And ran around yelling PIKA PIKA PIKA! I got scolded for that >_>
1 Comments, 36 Views,
0 Votes
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Amazing 7/4/2010
Is this all you need to do to get free points?
3 Comments, 63 Views,
1 Votes
,3.70 Score
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bored 6/14/2010
need points
0 Comments, 3 Views,
0 Votes
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Seriously.... 6/3/2010
When chatting online, nothing makes me want to close the
chat window faster than a guy saying "ask me anything
you want". Yeah, I know that's my perogative.
If we can't even make conversation online, I doubt
there's going to be much attraction in person. Is "chatting"
really that hard? Do we have to turn it into an interview.
That's all. Thank you for your attention. Carry on.
2 Comments, 181 Views,
7 Votes
,1.77 Score
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There's got to be a morning after ! 5/28/2010
In the shitty gaa-bie little small southern town of
Purgatory I live in I was found hanged from a pine tree limb
in the overgrown front yard of the abandoned house I was
hiding away from the world in. It was a half a block from the
only red light in town and although cars and people walking
by all day it wasn't reported till late in the afternoon.
But I wasn't hung with with rope, but ...
7 Comments, 189 Views,
27 Votes
,3.35 Score
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The Bagpiper and the Homeless Man! 5/10/2010
As a bagpiper, I play many gigs. Recently I was asked
by a funeral director to play at a grave side service for
a homeless man. He had no family or friends, so the service
was to be at a pauper's cemetery in the Kentucky back-country.
As I was not familiar with the backwoods, I got lost; and
being a typical man I didn't stop for directions. I
finally arrived an hour late and saw ...
2 Comments, 99 Views,
16 Votes
,0.78 Score
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First Date Fuck Ups 5/9/2010
We've all had them. Admit it. Everybody's had
at least one. Well, I've had more than one. There's
one that almost got me arrested. And how about the one who's
wife called me ten minutes after he dropped me off? I've
got a hundred stories, but I'm only gonna tell you about
one.
The names have been changed to protect the guilty. Before
I tell you this story I have to tell you a little ...
1 Comments, 258 Views,
11 Votes
,4.29 Score
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5 yr Anniversary 4/22/2010
I had crimped and prepped the night before he was takin me
to dinner and a movie to celebrate our anniversary. I wanted
to do something really kinky this anniversary just to let
him know "I still had IT".
We went to dinner first and it was a fancy joint so I didn't
wanna pull any tricks out there. We went on to the theather
to see "7 Pounds-Will Smith". I knew I wanted
to do something ...
2 Comments, 80 Views,
6 Votes
,3.37 Score
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humor 4/17/2010
if a hot guy grabs you on the ass and pussy your so lucky, if
a not so hot guy grabs you on the ass and pussy it's sexual
abuse and he gets charged.how are men supposed to know if
it is right to touch. i know a hot guy that walked around his
back yard naked and his neibour who was a church going lady
was watching now she calls him up for sex every night and
they fuck.but if some men tryed that ...
1 Comments, 48 Views,
2 Votes
,1.04 Score
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Free kittens ! 4/17/2010
A pretty little girl named Suzy was standing on the sidewalk
in front of her home. Next to her was a basket containing
a number tiny creatures; in her hand was a sign announcing
FREE KITTENS.
Suddenly a line of big black cars pulled up beside her. Out
of the lead car stepped a tall, grinning man.
"Hi there, little girl, I'm President Obama.
What do you have in the basket?" he ...
2 Comments, 144 Views,
33 Votes
,1.49 Score
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yellow thread 3/24/2010
this lady i used to live with when i was younger that the only
way she would let me live with her was if i promised to stay
a virgin. And if she ever found out if i had sex she would than
sew my hole with yellow..I laughed and asked her why yellow
thread? She replied with so when a man goes down on you he
can see that is sewn shut..lmao i couldnt bear to tell her
that i had just got done having ...
5 Comments, 209 Views,
13 Votes
,1.30 Score
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Snow Sex 3/20/2010
It was a cold snowy day, when we had to saddle up the horses
to go check the fence line. He wasn't my boyfriend but we had a secret sex life.
Half way threw we took a break tieing the horses to a tree.
The next thing I knew he pulled me close and said lets have
some fun. I said it's snowing and daylight and what
if someone sees us. I was still shy cause of my high school
age. I said the snow ...
3 Comments, 167 Views,
14 Votes
,4.42 Score
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Mixed emotions ! 3/16/2010
A husband and wife were sitting watching a TV program
about psychology and explaining the phenomenon of “mixed
emotions”.
The husband turned to his wife and said, “Honey, that’s
a bunch of crap. I bet you can’t tell me anything that will
make me happy and sad at the same time.”
She said: “Out of all your friends, you have the biggest
dick.“...
3 Comments, 168 Views,
43 Votes
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beaten 3/13/2010
when i was 21 my girlfriend at the time had the fantasy, so
we used to go to the local park in the early hours and i would
hide in the bushes wait for her to walk past and jump out on
her....one night we went a bit to early...i jumped out on
her started ripping her clothes off, ,suddenly i felt
a hand on my shoulder turned around to be greeted by a fist
in the face...it was some bloke walking ...
3 Comments, 80 Views,
4 Votes
,2.08 Score
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Sweet tea ! 3/1/2010
A woman goes to the doctor, beaten black and blue.
Doctor: "What happened?"
Woman: "Doctor, I don't know what to do. Every
time my husband comes home drunk he beats me to a pulp."
Doctor: "I have a real good medicine for that. When
your husband comes home drunk, just take a glass of sweet
tea and start gargling with it. Just gargle and gargle."
Two weeks ...
2 Comments, 215 Views,
43 Votes
,0.74 Score
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Church Offering ! 2/25/2010
One Sunday, in counting the money in the weekly offering,
the Pastor of a small church found a pink envelope containing
$1, 000. It happened again the next week!
The following Sunday, he watched as the offering was collected
and saw an elderly woman put the distinctive pink envelope
on the plate. This went on for weeks until the pastor, overcome
by curiosity, approached her. "Ma'am, I ...
1 Comments, 191 Views,
35 Votes
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When My Parents Visit 2/16/2010
Being that it was my birthday, I have to admit I was hoping
for breakfast in bed. When I wandered into the kitchen,
half-asleep and even less coherent, I was hoping for at
least a decent breakfast. I was wishing for waffles and
eyeing the Cornflakes when I heard a giggle behind me and
my boxers were jerked down my legs. I spun around and nearly fell in the process but Sarah caught
me before I ...
3 Comments, 703 Views,
15 Votes
,5.43 Score
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STAGES OF BEING DRUNK 1/17/2010
Stage 1 ‒ SMART This is when you suddenly become an expert on every subject
in the known Universe. You know everything and want to pass on your knowledge to
anyone who will listen. At this stage you are always RIGHT. And of course the person you are talking to is very WRONG.
This makes for an interesting argument when both parties
are SMART.
Stage 2 - GOOD LOOKING
This is when ...
2 Comments, 87 Views,
10 Votes
,3.78 Score
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Compliments come in many forms 1/14/2010
Being sexy for the one you love is as important and feeling
sexy. As we age and grow old with our partner we still want
to look good. When I was young I was a swimsuit model, now
that I'm middle aged I've gained a few pounds my
husband calls me curvy. That makes me feel good when we joke
around and I'm complaining of being out of shape he
simply says "honey round is a shape". lol
9 Comments, 181 Views,
20 Votes
,3.51 Score
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lies 1/12/2010
a man and a woman had been married for 20yrs. Each night they
made love the husband wanted complete darkness and he would
go under the covers and do his business. well one night the
wife decided that they had been married long enough and
she wanted to see him as he penetrated her. When she pulled
covers back she saw him using a sex toy and she yelled you've
been laying to me all these yrs ...
4 Comments, 195 Views,
12 Votes
,4.92 Score
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The ElectroLux Vacuum Cleaner Parts Salesman is my ! 1/9/2010
I was in a lengthy relationship with a straight-laced vanilla
6th grade school math teacher who would frequently wear
her hair in a bun. Yeah, you've got the right mental
image right there.
She also suffered from uncontrollable OCD which was a double-edged
sword. She could take her medications and be semi-normal.
With one exception, no sex was happening while the medication
did its magic ...
2 Comments, 128 Views,
4 Votes
,2.86 Score
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“Leela Kee Maa Kee…….” 1/8/2010
If you have seen a reindeer or a bull you know what being horny
means. It sticks out a mile away. As I have said earlier too, I am 24x7 horny and on a blind date
it didn’t take me long to get down to the bare essentials.
I was essentially bare in no time and he was still tearing
off his pants when I panted and thrust my pelvic zone rather
impatiently. He peeled off the cotton trousers, got ...
10 Comments, 308 Views,
13 Votes
,2.81 Score
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HAVE YOU EVER FUCKED SOMEONE THAT HAS A BAD SMELL???? 1/5/2010
Its a funny yet serious situation because its hard to tell
someone they smell...... DAMM
9 Comments, 127 Views,
8 Votes
,1.86 Score
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whose clothes /does it matter 1/4/2010
my girl friend found some pics of me on our computer an flipped
a little me naked or with another dud then she found pics
of me wearing her clothes and and got mad at me i told her they
r hot clothes and if she wasnt goin to wear them i wont waste
them and then she found the sites and me as a crossdresser
datint now its breakin up and staying together she is made
but says she loves me but dont ...
2 Comments, 119 Views,
8 Votes
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Just an Accident 12/27/2009
My mom said I was accident prone and may be she is right. We
were on our honeymoon in a hill resort, and the world was
my oyster. The room had a beautiful hill side view, and opened
on to a terrace meant for parties. My dad had been a chain smoker and as his favourite doll I
too had sort of developed considerable tolerance to smoke.
This helped me no ends during my marriage as my husband too
had ...
2 Comments, 307 Views,
10 Votes
,3.58 Score
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Why does money cause so many problems. 12/23/2009
It's so funny. I work a 7 day week, nearly 60 - 70 hours
per week. But when I want to spend $100 on myself. oh my god,
all hell breaks loose. Sure honey, you can buy that top,
those pants, oh can get this dvd, "hell no"!!!
What with that? I just wanna buy one thing once in a while....
3 Comments, 68 Views,
3 Votes
,2.94 Score
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Serious Couples Have To Have Relationship Humor. 12/5/2009
When attemping the swinging lifestyle one thing you wanna
make sure you have is relationship humor.I think with out
this it's hard for a couple to live in this lifestyle.
I wanna know what you others think?
2 Comments, 101 Views,
3 Votes
,4.41 Score
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john and jill 11/21/2009
John and Jill were about to go into his apartment and before
he could open his door, Jill said, "Wait a minute,
I can tell how a man makes love by how he unlocks his door."
John says, "Well, give me some examples."
Jill proceeds to tell him, "Well, the first way is,
if a guy shoves his key in the lock, and opens the door hard,
then that means he is a rough lover and that isn't ...
4 Comments, 260 Views,
13 Votes
,5.49 Score
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a day in the life.... 11/21/2009
A man returns from the doctor and tells his wife that the
doctor has told him he has only 24 hours to live. Given this
prognosis, the man asks his wife for sex. Naturally, she
agrees, and they make love.
About six hours later, the husband goes to his wife says,
"Honey, you know I now have only 18 hours to live. Could
we please do it one more time?"
Of course, the wife agrees, ...
1 Comments, 179 Views,
5 Votes
,3.80 Score
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