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Q&A 6/3/2008
Q: How do you keep your husband from reading your e-mail?
A: Rename the mail folder to "instruction manuals
1 Comments, 53 Views,
0 Votes
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men and women 6/3/2008
Men and women are not alike.
Sure, you thought you already knew that. But now we have
conculsive proof! After countless hours of surveys and studies on
the following topics, these facts have emerged:
RELATIONSHIPS:
First, a man does not call a relationshipo a relationship
- he refers to it as "that time when me and Suzie were boinking on
a semi-regular basis." ...
2 Comments, 73 Views,
2 Votes
,3.12 Score
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WEATHERING MARRIAGE 6/2/2008
What do Marriage and a Tornado have in common?
Well you start off with a lot of blowing and then sucking,
and then next thing you know your house is gone!
2 Comments, 209 Views,
3 Votes
,1.47 Score
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the caring wife 6/2/2008
When the man first noticed that his penis was growing longer,
he was delighted. But several weeks and several inches later,
he became concerned and went to see a urologist. While his wife waited outside,
the physician examined him and explained that, thought rare his condition
could be corrected by minor surgery. The patient's wife anxiously
rushed up to the doctor after the examination and was ...
1 Comments, 224 Views,
5 Votes
,3.14 Score
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just like marriage 6/2/2008
A man and a woman who have never met before find themselves
in the same sleeping carriage of a train. After the initial embarrassment,
they both manage to get to sleep; the woman on the top bunk, the man
on the lower. In the middle of the night the woman leans over and says,
"I'm sorry to bother you but I'm awfully cold and I was wondering
if you could possibly pass me another blanket."
...
1 Comments, 188 Views,
6 Votes
,3.65 Score
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amazing foods 6/2/2008
Scientists have discovered a food that diminishes a woman's
sex drive by 90 percent.
Wedding cake!
1 Comments, 28 Views,
0 Votes
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his last request..... 6/2/2008
Father O'Grady was saying his goodbyes to the parishioners
after his Sunday morning service as he always does when
Mary Clancey came up to him in tears. "What's bothering you so, dear?" inquired
Farther O'Grady. "Oh, father, I've got terrible news."
Replied Mary. "Well what is it, Mary?" "Well, my husband, passed away last night, Father."
"Oh, Mary" said the father, "that's
terrible. Tell me ...
1 Comments, 54 Views,
1 Votes
,2.40 Score
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isnt life interesting? 6/2/2008
Two men are having an awfully slow round of golf because the two ladies in front of them managed to get into every sand trap, lake, and rough on the course, and they didn't bother to wave the men on through, which is proper golf etiquette.
After two hours of waiting and waiting, one man said, "I think I'll walk up there and ask those
gals to let us play through." He walked out to the ...
1 Comments, 54 Views,
0 Votes
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morning rituals 6/2/2008
What does a woman do to her asshole in the morning?
-Sends him to work.
1 Comments, 22 Views,
0 Votes
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doggy style? 6/2/2008
Two buddies were sharing drinks while discussing their
wives. "Does your wife ever ... well, you know ... does she
... well, let you do it doggie style?" asked one of the two.
"Well, not exactly, " his friend replied,
"She's into the trick aspect of it."
"Oh, I see. Kinky stuff, huh?"
"Well... not exactly. More like she rolls over and
plays dead."
1 Comments, 67 Views,
0 Votes
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conseling 6/2/2008
A young couple on the brink of divorce visit a marriage counselor. The counselor asks the wife about the problem.
She responds, "My husband suffers from premature ejaculation."
The counselor turns to her husband and inquires "Is
that true?" The husband replies "Well not exactly, she's
the one that suffers, not me."
1 Comments, 48 Views,
0 Votes
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deaj au vous? 6/2/2008
After the lavish wedding reception, the newlyweds retired
to their Honeymoon Suite. The groom turned down the lights and found
some nice CDs to stack on the player. Then he excused himself and returned
in pajamas and robe. He opened a bottle of champagne and poured
them each a drink, unaware that his new bride had already had more
than enuff to drink. Finally, he took the girl of ...
1 Comments, 40 Views,
0 Votes
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private investigator 6/2/2008
My wife and I were watching some TV show the other nite where
the wife hired a private detective to follow her husband and see
if he were in fact "cheating" on her. I asked my wife if she
would ever do that. She said, "Well not so much to find out who the other
woman was, but to see if I could find out what she saw in ya."
1 Comments, 53 Views,
0 Votes
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middle aged couple 6/2/2008
The middle-aged married couple finally moved into the
Condo of their dreams, but right next door to a very sexy fashion model.
The husband had taken to borrowing this or that from their neighbor
and it seemed to the wife that it always took him way too long to return.
One time the wife had had enuff and actually pounded on the
wall between the two apartments. There being no ...
1 Comments, 44 Views,
0 Votes
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Movie Night 5/29/2008
Listen, baby, I care about you. And only you. You're
the come that when things are bad and I just don't have
anybody else to turn to, that you'll give me the blowjob
I so desperately need. And I thank you for that. You understand
me, you understand my needs and how to make me happy and how
to make me come.
And I get you.
So when someone invited me and my family to a movie, ...
0 Comments, 41 Views,
0 Votes
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a meeting called 5/17/2008
The husband finally wised up to the fact that his wife was
less than faithful. He hired a private investigator to
follow her and in less than a week, had all the information that he needed
on the "other man".
The husband convinced himself that his would still be a
loving and trustworthy marriage had not this S.O.B. come
onto the scene. Being a man of the 90's and all, he decided to ...
1 Comments, 74 Views,
5 Votes
,1.84 Score
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definition of wife 5/17/2008
Some people are sitting in a bar when one guy says, "My
name is Larry, and I am a SNAG."
Another guy says, "What's that?"
The first guy says, "That means I am a Single, New Age
Guy."
Another one says, "My name is Gary, and I am a DINK.
A girl asks, "What's that?"
He says, "That means I am a Double Income, No ."
A lady says, "That's nice. My ...
1 Comments, 47 Views,
3 Votes
,0.49 Score
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freudian slips??? 5/17/2008
One of Sigmund Freud's early patients rushed out into
an Austrian afternoon on her way to meet her best friend at
a coffee house. Over Cappuccino and Viennese pastries, she suddenly burst
out crying. Her friend begged her to share what was wrong. "Oh, it's just terrible, " she wailed.
"Today the doctor told me I'm in love with my father, and. . .and. . .and you know,
he's a married man!"
1 Comments, 38 Views,
0 Votes
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all the thanks i need.... 5/14/2008
A married couple was in a terrible accident where the woman's
face was severely burned. The doctor told the husband that
they couldn't graft any skin from her body because
she was too skinny. So the husband offered to donate some
of his own skin.
However, the only skin on his body that the doctor felt was
suitable would have to come from his buttocks.
The husband and wife agreed ...
1 Comments, 88 Views,
7 Votes
,6.10 Score
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WHY? OH WHY? 5/14/2008
A man placed some flowers on the grave of his dearly departed
mother and started back toward his car when his attention
was diverted to another man kneeling at a grave.
The man seemed to be praying with profound intensity and
kept repeating, "Why did you have to die? Why did you
have to die? Why did you have to die?"
The first man approached him and said, "Sir, I don't
wish to ...
1 Comments, 69 Views,
5 Votes
,3.80 Score
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I don't give Oral on a first date . . . . ? 5/13/2008
Bit of a fib really - I love giving Oral including on a first
date!
I am alway curious about what a lady has eaten for dinner,
after an occasion when I looked in the mirror before going
home, to find that I had a piece of sweetcorn stuck to the
end on my nose!
Has anyone else out there had a similar experience - perhaps
with Spinach or Mushy Peas?
0 Comments, 237 Views,
7 Votes
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ill hold the olives 5/13/2008
A fellow came into a bar and ordered a martini. Before drinking
it, he removed the olive and carefully put it into a glass
jar. Then he ordered another martini and did the same thing.
After an hour, when he was full of martinis and the jar was
full of olives, he staggered out. "Well, " said a customer, "I never saw
anything as peculiar as that!" "What's so peculiar about it?" the bartender
said. ...
1 Comments, 54 Views,
4 Votes
,2.08 Score
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Read on you will love this!!!!!!!! 5/12/2008
A store that sells new husbands has opened in New York City,
where a woman may go to choose a husband. Among the instructions
at the entrance is a description of how the store operates:
You may visit this store ONLY ONCE! There are six floors
and the value of the products increase as the shopper ascends
the flights. The shopper may choose any item from a ...
0 Comments, 67 Views,
5 Votes
,2.82 Score
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emergency preparedness 5/8/2008
Although this married couple enjoyed their new fishing
boat together, it was the husband who was behind the wheel
operating the boat. He was concerned about what might happen in an
emergency. So one day out on the lake he said to his wife,
"Please take the wheel, Dear. Pretend that I am having
a heart attack. You must get the boat safely to shore and
dock it."
So she drove the boat to ...
2 Comments, 60 Views,
2 Votes
,1.04 Score
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ten things universaly understood by men about women 5/8/2008
TOP TEN THINGS THAT MEN UNDERSTAND ABOUT WOMEN
1. 2. 3. 4. 5. 6. 7. 8. 9. 10.
2 Comments, 182 Views,
14 Votes
,1.06 Score
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why take the chance 5/8/2008
Gary receives a telegram informing him about his mother-in-law's
death. It also enquires whether she should be buried or
burnt.
He replies, "Don't take chances. Burn the body
and bury the ashes."
2 Comments, 58 Views,
2 Votes
,1.04 Score
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wedding surprise !!! 5/8/2008
(this was passed along to me as a true story, i can not vouch
for its validity) This is a true story about a recent wedding
that took place at Clemson University. This was a huge wedding
with over 300 guests. After the wedding at the reception,
the groom got up on stage and took the microphone to talk
to the crowd. He said that he wanted to thank everyone ...
3 Comments, 176 Views,
6 Votes
,3.65 Score
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set your clock ahead 5/7/2008
One day a wife complained, "This wall clock almost
killed my mother today. It fell only seconds after she got up from the couch."
The husband grunted and replied, "The darn clock
always was slow."
2 Comments, 48 Views,
2 Votes
,3.12 Score
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poor larry 5/7/2008
Larry's barn burned down, and Susan, his wife, called
the insurance company ...
Susan: We had that barn insured for fifty thousand and I
want my money. Agent: Whoa there just a minute, Susan; it doesn't
work quite like that. We will ascertain the value of the old barn and provide you
with a new one of comparable worth. Susan, after a pause: I'd like to cancel the policy
on my husband.
2 Comments, 79 Views,
1 Votes
,2.40 Score
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it pays to spend more time at home.... 5/7/2008
The husband, tired of a listless sex life came right out
and asked his wife during a recent love-making session, "How come
you never tell me when you have an orgasm ?" She looked him rite in the eye and said, "You're
never home !"
2 Comments, 105 Views,
9 Votes
,3.21 Score
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